


Sakura

by AceOfSpades22



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet, Flower Language, Genji Loves Jesse So Much, Hurt/Comfort, hanakotoba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 02:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15014990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOfSpades22/pseuds/AceOfSpades22
Summary: The cherry trees were beautiful. Not as beautiful as they were back home, of course. These ones weren’t taken care of nearly as well as the ones within the walls of the Shimada Clan’s property.He’d found them in a long abandoned garden behind what he assumed had once been some sort of flower nursery, though he wasn’t entirely certain if that was the case. The trunks were withered and dry, the leaves all but completely gone. He’d been taking care of them for the past three years and this spring was the first time he’d ever seen the blossoms bloom.With a soft hum, he sat beneath the softly swaying branches, taking a minute to breath in the warm, scented air. It wasn’t often he had the ability to feel so at peace these days, but beneath the boughs of his trees, even the rage that consumed his heart couldn’t touch him.“I didn’t expect to find you ‘round here.”The drawling voice was familiar and it pulled at Genji’s heart. He didn’t dare look at the newcomer... At Jesse.





	Sakura

Sakura

 The cherry trees were beautiful. Not as beautiful as they were back home, of course. These ones weren’t taken care of nearly as well as the ones within the walls of the Shimada Clan’s property.

He’d found them in a long abandoned garden behind what he assumed had once been some sort of flower nursery, though he wasn’t entirely certain if that was the case. The trunks were withered and dry, the leaves all but completely gone. He’d been taking care of them for the past three years and this spring was the first time he’d ever seen the blossoms bloom.

With a soft hum, he sat beneath the softly swaying branches, taking a minute to breath in the warm, scented air. It wasn’t often he had the ability to feel so at peace these days, but beneath the boughs of his trees, even the rage that consumed his heart couldn’t touch him.

“I didn’t expect to find you ‘round here.”

The drawling voice was familiar and it pulled at Genji’s heart. He didn’t dare look at the newcomer... At Jesse.

“That’s alright, sweetheart. You ain’t have to say anything.” Jesse sighed as he walked around the patches of overgrown plants and stepped over the now wild beds of flowers.

Genji had nothing to say to the cow man.

“I figured when I walked past this place it was you takin’ care of ‘em. This used to belong to Angela of all people. You know that? That woman was amazin’ even when she weren’t doin’ that doctor thing she was still working.” He laughed softly as he sat beside Genji.

A lump formed in the smaller man’s throat as Jesse sprawled his legs out on either side of him. It brought him back to a time of sweet words and passionate embraces. He knew what he and Jesse had had would never be permanent. They had both been broken, beaten down by the circumstances of life.

That didn’t make it hurt any less.

“You know, I think about you sometimes. Those flowers you gave me that night you left. Took me forever to figure out what they meant.”

That gave Genji pause. Hanakotoba.

He’d never expected Jesse to actually learn the truth behind such.

“Faith. Grateful. Goodbye... Love.”

Genji clenched his eyes shut and tilted his head up, hoping the sun’s dying rays could chase away the memories of Jesse’s lips, warm and soft against his own, or his arms, safely secured around his smaller frame as he held him close through the worst of the nightmares.  
“I had to.” He whispered, finally breaking his silence.

“Well now. I didn’t think I was that bad.” Jesse said, trying his damn hardest to keep his voice light, but Genji knew him too well. He could hear the way the cowboy’s voice caught in his throat, growing gruffer with each utterance.

A sad smile lifted the corner of his lip, covered by his chin plate but there all the same. He remembered those flowers. Lavender. Blue Bells. Sweet Peas. Tulips. It had been a funky looking bouquet, but the image of Jesse smiling down at them with his stupid, dopey grin was etched in his brain. He’d hugged him so tightly it damn near broke Genji’s heart to leave.

“Still don’t get why you left. We made one hell of a pair, you and me.” The tell-tale cigarillo was jammed between Jesse’s teeth now, though when he’d taken it from his pocket, Genji wasn’t sure. Soon, the familiar smell of smoke mixed with the warm scent of cherry blossoms in a mixture that left his heart singing. This was the smell of home. To his shock, tears began to well in his eyes.

“I couldn’t stay...” He whispered, his voice so soft it nearly carried away in the evening breeze.

A few clouds of smoke fell from Jesse’s lips and nostrils before he spoke, but though the silence was heavy, it wasn’t uncomfortable. “But... Why?”

Genji could feel his cow brown gaze boring into him, but didn’t dare turn his head in fear that the tears he was desperately holding back would start to fall.  
“You...” He coughed to clear the lump from his throat, a humorless laugh on his lips. Before he spoke again, he picked a fallen blossom up from the ground and held it between his hands.

“Do you know what the cherry blossom means?” He finally said as he gently ran a finger over the soft pink petals of the flower in his hand.

“Hmm... Lay it on my, sweetheart. What’s it mean?”

“It’s a symbol of kindness... Gentleness. It is funny that a ninja should hold one in his hands… and that a gunslinger should sit beneath them while they bloom.”

“Now ain’t that a funny thought... Not much gentleness in our lives. Never was...” Jesse mused, and from the corner of his eye, Genji could see the cowboy run his metal fingers through his hair, just as wild as ever.

“Well... there is one exception.” He said, sparing a sideways glance at Jesse just in time to see the man cock his eyebrow.

“And what might that be, darlin’?”

Again, a small, sad smile curled the corner of Genji’s lips, and again he had to dash away his tears.

“You...” He said simply.

He heard the sharp intake of breath and, for the first time, he turned to look at Jesse, eyes tired and sad.

“You showed me kindness... Even though I’m battered and broken. Even though I’m as full of rage as I am. Even as a cyborg abomination. You showed me love and affection.”  
He couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Slowly, the warm drops slid down his cheeks, and even slower still, Jesse reached out to wipe them away with a gentle thumb.

“Hey now. Don’t you go cryin’ on me. The Genji I knew never cried.”

It was a lie. Jesse had seen him cry late at night after waking up from a nightmare, so scared he’d tremble for hours in the larger man’s hold. Even days after Jesse had lost his arm he’d snuck out of the infirmary to hold him when he’d heard his screams.

He still appreciated the effort to cheer him up, even if it didn’t work.

“And... I fell in love.”

That got Jesse to still completely, and Genji immediately regretted his words. All these years they’d been apart and he could still read the man like an open book.

“G-Genji I—“

“I know.” He said simply, cutting Jesse off before he dug himself into a hole. There was no point letting the cowboy flounder.

“I know you don’t love me, Jesse. Not then, not now. Not in the same way I loved you.” He said softly, once more holding a cherry blossom in his hands.  
“I left... because I didn’t want to hold you back. I was... a burden. I was toxic to you, and you deserved so much better.”

The tears were falling faster now, and his voice was so shaky he had to whisper to even be understood. He had loved Jesse so much that sometimes, even now, late at night he’d lie awake for hours just thinking about the cowboy’s smile. His kind touches, and his warm embrace.

“Aw shoot... Sweet pea you weren’t a burden.” Jessed whispered. It was his voice now that nearly blew away with the breeze, but Genji still heard him.

He saw Jesse move before he felt him, but he didn’t have the heart or strength of will to keep him from pulling him into a warm, familiar chest. A gentle hand rubbed at his back as he clutched fistfuls of the faded serape draped over Jesse’s shoulder.

“Huckleberry... I love you, too. You gotta know that. It may not be in the way you wish I did, but damn do I love you.” He whispered.

Genji’s heart fluttered then, as Jesse’s lips pressed against his head and his arms held him all the tighter. For a moment, he was transported back to their room in the Swiss base before everything went to hell. How many times had Jesse held him this exact way?

“Can we...” Jesse paused, and for a while, Genji allowed him to deliberate, but when it didn’t seem like he’d finish his question, he nuzzled against his chest and glanced up at him questioningly.

“Can we...?” He prompted, surprised to find it was now Jesse that wasn’t looking at him.

“It’s nothin’. Just... wistful thinkin’. Wouldn’t be fair to ask you.” He sighed. “Don’t you worry none, alright?”

“No... Tell me. I want to know.” Genji insisted.

Jesse sighed. It was one of those sighs that were loaded and heavy, the ones where there was hesitation and reluctance.

“I just... wish things would go back to how they were between us. I miss you...” He finally said. Genji almost wished he hadn’t pushed the issue. Jesse’s words pierced straight through his heart, but he’d be a liar to say he hadn’t had that exact thought a hundred thousand times.

He was a fool to even consider it.

“Ok.”

He was an even bigger fool to agree. It was just like him to fall back into the same destructive patterns of wild passion and codependency. It always had been, and yet it was worth seeing the way Jesse perked up at just one word. He could even feel a difference in the way Jesse held him. His arms wound around him tighter, as if desperate to keep him close.

“R...Really?” He breathed, softer than a whisper. Had Genji not been practically in his lap at this point, he wouldn’t have heard him.

There was no turning back now. He nodded as he rested his head against Jesse’s chest.

“...Yes.”

“Well alright then.”

After that, there was silence. Relief and a silent companionship settled over them like a blanket and as the sun finally set, cherry blossoms raining down around them, Genji felt a tiny piece of his heart fit back into place.

It would be his destruction, and cause more heartache in the future. He knew Jesse would never love him in the same way he did, but that was ok. Especially if it meant he’d get to be held like this, with Jesse’s lips against his hair.

As the first stars started to shine in the sky, he sighed softly.

Yes, it would be his destruction... but for now? He was whole.

**Author's Note:**

> Been a long time since I posted anything online, hope you guys like it


End file.
